So as the video annotations say, Cokie, my Monster, has gone to Heaven. This past week she ruptured a disk in her back and within fifty hours was paraplegic.
Cokie was a bipolar sort of dog, when she was high, she was flying, and when she was low, she was so miserable. I knew that keeping her, after she lost the ability to use the lower half of her body, would mean she had to roll around in a cart. I also knew that she would hate it and I didn't want her living only in the lows.
Her eyes were telling me that she was not long for this world, and that to let her go was the last way to tell her 'I love you, you crazy, wonderful puppy, you.' So I did.
She died peacefully in my arms on February 16th, 2012.
I let her go, and though I don't regret my decision, my heart has such a hole in it that I must fill up again, because that's what Cokie would want.
In order to fill myself up, I must stop spreading myself so thin. So...
I need a break.
I think we all feel this way at one time, or another, but I have good reasons to take a step back and re-group right now.
A big chunk of this vlog, filmed over a month ago, was all about how I finished my first novel!
Now, I am deeply involved in the querying process, which includes writing query letters, editing the manuscript, and researching the agents I believe would be a beautiful fit for my book and I.
I am going to be writing freelance for Huffington Post and need to write some articles before they forget who I am!
I am applying for a big, important and wonderful job that could change my whole, entire life!
I have such a love for this blog and want some time to write new, fresh, exciting posts, film wonderfully bookish vlogs and catch up on my reviews. I don't want MPB to be half-baked in any way.
And, oh, yeah, I'm a college student and the end of the term is nigh.
I am hoping that by April MPB will be back and better than ever!
|My 'Congrats on finishing your first Novel!' Cake.|
Until then, I have a select few posts that will run from now, until whenever, to tide y'all over.
I appreciate all of you. I couldn't have gotten through those first hours without Cokie if I didn't have your tweets, Facebook messages and e-mails pouring in.
If you want to contact me, I'm sure I'll continue to need all kinds of support:
I want to make sure you all understand, MPB isn't going anywhere! I just lost one baby, and this will not be the second to go. I need to get some things in order, take a nice breather (I blogged nearly every day last year!) and look towards the bright future ahead, even if I must do it without Cokie Star.
Gabrielle Carolina <3