Monday, October 3, 2011

The Goddess Test (ARC)

he Goddess Test

Author: Aimee Carter

Publisher: Harlequin Teen

Pages: 293

Read Time: Two Days

Tag Words: Mythology, death, paranormal, supernatural, Deity, series, 2011 debut authors

My Summary:

When Kate is offered the chance to become a goddess and the bride of hunky god Henry, and to save her dying mom in the process, Kate agrees, thinking the deal is as crazy as Henry...

Until she sees him raise a girl from the dead.

My Review:


No, seriously, that is how I am going to begin my review of this book.

I waited a while after reading to review, a whole month in fact, because I didn’t want to write a passionately visceral review, but I can feel my passion already boiling under my blood. It can't be helped, prepare yourselves for Fury of the Gabrielle.

I don’t understand this book. I do not get what happened. I cannot fathom why it happened at all. This is ridiculous.


Kate’s relationship with James and Ava. Really? James and Kate end up with this super strong connection, this completely solid friendship, after spending approximately 8-16 hours in each others presence. So much so that Kate can feel a deep sense of betrayal at him keeping a secret other people also keep without being on the recieving end of Kate's ire. Ava is the mean girl Kate is tortured by in school and then chums it up with. What The Hades?

The world of Eden, the gate, or whatever it is, and the “dead/not dead” life of the people within it’s reach is absurd. It was inconsistent and because of this inconsistency, it did not make any sense at all. Eden/Hades is senseless. This whole book is senseless!

The book is suppose to be a retelling of Hades & Persephone, a tale that had been retold many times before the recent Back-to-Greek trend in YA. Among such retellings of the myth are Beauty and the Beast, as well as Phantom of the Opera. Let me try to ‘splain this as best I can. Instead of retelling the original Hades & Persephone story, Carter did a retelling of Beauty and the Beast and the book was tamer than Disney's production. So instead of awesome Greekery and togas, we get a Gothic mansion in the woods of Minnesota and corsets. When I open up a book about Greek myths, I want gold sandals, when I open up a TFT (Twisted Fairy Tale) I want glass slippers. Kapeesh?

THOSE WERE THE TESTS?! WHAT?! I’m sorry, but when you name a book The Goddess Test, you had better have some awesome testing scenes, but there weren’t any. None. Nothing that even smacked of a test. Then you learn what super-secret tests the gods of Minnesota administered and you want to scream! What in the world does being virtuous have to do with being a Greek god or goddess? Carter’s own gods and goddesses (who were given new names, by the way, more on that below) had problems with those sins, themselves!

Besides not making any sense, the way Carter hid the thing I dove into the book to read about was frustrating. The tests, the crux of the entire novel, were hidden from the readers view! You pick up a book called The Goddess Test and you want to read about a mortal girl being tested to become a goddess, but you don’t get that. In fact, Kate isn’t even mortal!. Which leads me to my final issue with this book.

Kate’s mother is a goddess. Why exactly would Kate need to audition?! A Goddess gave birth to her, for Hades sake! No, really, Diana gave birth to a daughter to marry to her brother, Hades. Seriously, that's the plot twist.


Notes on the Names:

Remember me saying we would discuss this further below? Let’s start discussing.

Carter’s deities got new names.


What’s not cool is that the modern monikers had nothing to do with the original titles. Not a letter in common every time, not a variation, in fact some goddesses chose another goddesses names! What?!

Thoughts on the Cover:

I loved this cover... until Kate started dressing in the height of London fashion, two-hundred years ago. Ugh.

Parental Book Review *spoilers*

Sexual Content:


Mild sexual innuendo.

Henry occasionally  sleeps in the same bed with Kate. There is no sex until they are given an aphrodisiac that “makes” them sleep together for real.


B- 1
D- 8
H- 4
A- 1



Girl hits her head on river rocks, the injury is somewhat described.

Girls auditioning for Persephone’s role before Kate were murdered and Kate is stabbed to death.

Other Notables:

The tests consist of Kate besting the seven deadly sins.

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