Friday, November 16, 2012

Bad Hair Day Blog Tour: Zombies Vs. Vampires

It's blog tour time

Zombies v. Vampires with author Carrie Harris: Why the Shambling Hordes Would TOTALLY Win

Ever since the show Deadliest Warrior put a vampire clan up against a zombie mob and then CHEATED, I’ve been irate. Sure, if you pit the stupidest, slowest zombies against some vamps, and then gave the vamps super speed and super strength and the ability to shoot lasers out their eyeballs (okay, so they didn’t go that far, but I bet they would have if they’d thought of it!), sure, the vamps are going to win. But let’s face it, the vampire’s getting a little long in the tooth.

Get it? TOOTH? Yeah, I groaned too.

Here’s the thing. Vampires aren’t as scary as they used to be. In general, they seem to be more interested in flirting with broody girls and shopping at Abercrombie than they do in actually biting anybody. Whereas if anything, the zombie hordes have gotten SCARIER. They might think or dream, or they might not. (And honestly, I can’t decide which on flips me out more.) Their synapses fire unevenly, which means they might break into a shambling lope at the last minute…just in time to bite your kneecaps off. It’s enough to make a girl invest in full body Kevlar. They might be fast; they might strategize. They’re not so content to follow the rules anymore, because hey, the vamps are breaking them. It’s like a supernatural beastie free-for-all!

So yeah, I don’t think it’s worth writing the zombies off in a battle, but to me there’s something even more important. Zombies are FUNNY, and funny trumps all. Imagine for a moment that a zombie is chasing you down an alleyway. Now give the zombie a broken ankle. Now put that zombie on roller skates.

Please tell me I’m not the only person who would stand at the end of that alley, cracking up uncontrollably and poking at the wheels with a stick. Because I totally would.

And that’s the thing—we’ve gotten awfully serious up in the YA shelves. There are a lot of black and red covers and one word titles with IMPACT, and don’t get me wrong, sometimes that kind of book is exactly what I want. But sometimes, I want to laugh so hard that something comes out of my nose. I want to giggle so hard that the rest of my family comes into my room to see if I’m okay. I want something that reminds me not to take things so bleeping serious all the time! 

Melancholy stalker vampires doesn’t do that. Roller skating zombie? Total win. I’d argue that we could use a little more of that. It puts things into perspective, and it clears out our nasal passages, which is a major bonus in my book.

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